“Let there be light in the darkness…” 2 Cor 4:6
My first true blog entry comes on a day that I feel free of anxiety, and because of this I can tell you it is a good day. Yet somehow, I still feel the need to mention it. But talking about it isn’t to say it controls my life; it’s simply a chance to get it out in the open. It’s not the conversation you should be having with only yourself.
Having an anxious mind permeates everything you do – it hits your core in a way that is, at times, almost unbearable. For me, when it’s really bad I can’t find the will to get up and get moving, despite desperately wanting to. This stems from an intense fear -an unknown, yet unquestionably real and acute fear- that paralyses me. And on the days I do find the courage to make the most of my day it still lingers. It’s like a moving brick wall that walks either side of you everywhere you go, never allowing you to push through, or to walk freely. Its crippling hold is a burden anyone with anxiety would never wish upon another.
A while ago I read a comment online somewhere that made a lot of sense to me: “The weird thing is when you don’t have anxiety you can’t imagine having it and when you do have it you can’t imagine not having it.”
But let’s not give it any more time or thought than necessary – today anxiety hasn’t got me owned and it is ahmaaazing. The sheer relief that hits me on a day like today brings tears to my eyes – tears of gratitude for a moment of freedom from a stranglehold. I can be my true self again. It’s a feeling, of clean oxygen, freshly laundered washing on a sun-kissed morning, a Sunday river walk, an open world full of possibilities.
The intention of my blogging is to share my thoughts, daily wanderings and any cute photos I take / come across.
I’m a happy, compassionate thirty-year-old who is a lover of many things, including my pooch (pom-mix, five, face like a puppy – the only age telltale being the beginnings of a sprouting grey beard..), my digs (South Yarra, Melbourne), op-shopping and a few people in my life.
I want to see the world, (just like everybody that I know), happily live to the threshold of my limits (may there never be any) and plant seeds of happiness in every garden bed I find myself among.
Let’s start this fine Saturday afternoon with a photo that describes happiness to me. May we find a moment of it in every day.
Until next time,
#cheesyafpost #dontcare #feelinggood